


(Thirteen Years) For Nothing

by Albion23



Category: Football RPF
Genre: FC Schalke 04, German National Team, Hömmels, M/M, Neuwedes, So yeah, but then i thought of this, i haven't uploaded anything for ages, neumer, sad I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 18:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2439143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albion23/pseuds/Albion23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Manuel is fifteen and Benedikt is thirteen and Manuel thinks he might be a little in love. Manuel is eighteen and Benedikt is sixteen and things go a bit further. Manuel is twenty five and Benedikt is twenty three and Manuel knows that Benedikt is the one. Manuel is twenty eight and Benedikt is twenty six and things aren't going so well anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Thirteen Years) For Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ: so when 'stuff' happens benni is sixteen and manuel is eighteen, which is legal in the uk but not everywhere, so you've been warned.  
> i haven't uploaded anything for ages so yeah, sorry i guess.  
> Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, i do not own these people and this never happened, blah, blah, blah, please don't sue me.

Manuel is fifteen and Benedikt is thirteen and Manuel thinks he might be a little bit in love. They’re sitting on a wall on the outskirts of Gelsenkirchen when it happens. Manuel is sitting so close to Benedikt that he can hear the other boy breathing. It’s the last day of their summer holidays, late evening, and Benedikt’s licking on an ice cream quietly, even though it’s not really warm at all. “Are you looking forward to going back?”

Benedikt pulls the ice cream away from his face and his eyebrows furrow. “No,” he says eventually, “I’ll not get to spend as much time with you.” Manuel smiles over at him and Benedikt smiles back.

“I’ll try and talk to you every day,” Manuel says. He doesn’t really need to. Benedikt knows anyway. Manuel watches as his friend goes back to licking at his ice cream.

“Do you want some?” Benedikt asks. Manuel stifles a laugh. “What?” Benedikt frowns.

“You’ve got some ice cream on your face.” Benedikt raises a hand up to stroke his cheek. “No-no,” Manuel shakes his head, smiling,  “it’s-“ Benedikt moves his hand to his other cheek and Manuel shakes his head. “I’ll, I’ll get it,” he stammers. Manuel shuffles even closer and his arm is virtually around Benni’s waist by this point. He doesn’t know what drives him to do it, not really, but he leans his face closer until it’s hovering right in front of Benedikt’s. Benedikt closes his eyes. Manuel then promptly licks a stripe up Benedikt’s nose and removes the vanilla ice cream. It was meant to be funny, but it wasn’t. Benedikt lets out a shaky breath. His eyes are still closed. Manuel leaves his face hovering where it is.

He doesn’t remember now who moved first or whether it was mutual, but their lips meet in the middle and it’s incredible. It’s the single best thing he’s ever done in his life, he’s convinced about that. He reaches his hands up and threads his fingers through Benni’s messy blonde hair.  It’s messy, it’s messy and it’s sloppy. It’s open-mouthed and inexperienced and their teeth are clattering and their noses keep on getting in the way, but it’s incredible. Benedikt’s hands fist in Manuel’s old Schalke top and Manuel is completely and utterly convinced that he never wants to stop this, ever. Manuel pulls back. “Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Benedikt shakes his head.

Benni smashes their lips together again and tugs Manuel closer and closer. His mouth opens to let out a small whine and Manuel slips his tongue into the other boy’s mouth. Benedikt gasps and Manuel swallows it whole, exploring as far as he can. Benedikt pushes him back slightly and he leans his forehead against his friend’s, struggling for breath. Benedikt’s hair is mussed and his lips are puffy and the little noises he’s making are going to drive Manuel insane. “Are we, are we, together?” Benedikt pants.

Manuel nods slightly. “Please.” He pecks Benedikt’s lips. He wants to get used to this.

*

Manuel is eighteen and Benedikt is sixteen and things go a bit further. They’re at Manuel’s house when it happens. Manuel had asked Benedikt if he wanted to do this a while ago and his _boyfriend_ had agreed. They hadn’t had the chance, until now. “Are you ready?” he asks.

Benedikt nods.

“Are you sure?”

Benedikt nods again.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

“I will,” Benedikt looks into his eyes. “I trust you.”

That’s all it takes for Manuel to gently slide into Benedikt, inch by inch. Benedikt gasps and throws an arm over his face, trying to hide his discomfort but Manuel moves his arms away and kisses him and, “you’re okay, you’re fine, you’re, you’re beautiful.” Benedikt’s eyes open. They’re glazed over and Manuel isn’t sure how much the other boy can see, but he can see clearly enough to pull Manuel down into a frantic kiss that reminds him of their very first three years ago. He smiles into the kiss. This, this is by far the best thing that he’s ever done.

He starts moving inside the other boy, slowly rocking in and out. He’s plastering kisses all over Benni’s chest because he’s gorgeous and Manuel wants all of him. The noises Benni is letting out are mesmerising and he wants to file them away in the back of his mind because he could listen to them forever. He looks into Benedikt’s eyes and kisses him over and over and over again.  It sort of becomes a regular thing after that.

When he comes inside of Benedikt, it’s mind-blowing. His world stops spinning for a moment as he bites down on his boyfriend’s shoulder, breathing out his name. He grabs a hold of Benedikt’s cock and moves his hand up and down until he’s kissing his own name out of Benni’s mouth as he comes. Manuel pulls out of him and stares at him for a few minutes. He really is beautiful. Benedikt opens his eyes and smiles a fantastic, brilliant smile, and Manuel can’t help but smile ridiculously back. He wants to get used to this.

*

Manuel is twenty five and Benedikt is twenty three and Manuel knows that Benedikt is the one. They’re sitting in _their_ living room when it happens. They’re throwing their strictly controlled diets out of the window for a night and they’re eating pizza and chips and chocolate and anything else they can find. Manuel is leaving his captaincy, Manuel is leaving Schalke 04, Manuel is leaving his home, and Manuel is leaving Benedikt.

Benedikt is still wiping away tears from his face because, yes, of course he’d started crying when Manuel had told him. They’re in sweatpants and baggy shirts and they’re watching crappy television but it doesn’t matter because they’ve got each other and they won’t have for much longer. Manuel pushes him back on the sofa and wedges a thigh between his legs and Benedikt laughs but it sounds as though he could cry again. “I hate you,” Benedikt mumbles against his lips.

“You could never hate me,” Manuel grins.

Benedikt shushes him and pecks his lips and Manuel still can’t keep the smile off his face. “What are we going to do?” he asks.

“Well,” Benedikt slides a hand up his shirt and starts rubbing circles on the muscles of his back, “I’m going to visit you and you’re going to visit me and we’ll be together during the international breaks, and the summer and winter breaks, and we’ll be fine.” Manuel kisses him over and over again until they’re red in the face and they look as though they’ve been dragged backwards through a bush.

They lie in bed that night, Benedikt curled around Manuel and suddenly, things aren’t that funny anymore. “I’ll miss you.” Things had been quiet for at least half an hour before Benni spoke. They had been listening to each other’s breathing and realising that this won’t happen as much anymore, this won’t happen every night, and it may not happen for weeks on end. “But we’ll make it work, I’ll make it work.”

“I love you.” He says it like it’s the simplest thing on earth, like he’s said it a hundred times before, like the words haven’t been on the tip of his tongue for ten years, almost to the day. He says it without regret, without thinking about the future and without an answer expected. He says it in the present, and when Benedikt starts to cry, he hopes it’s for a good reason.

“I love you too,” Benedikt whispers. Hands fist further into Manuel’s shirt and a face buries into his chest. Manuel wraps his arms completely around Benni and brings them as close as possible.

They’re lying naked some time later, both out of breath and ready to sleep when Manuel repeats the words again, and Benedikt says them back, with confidence. The distance doesn’t matter, Benedikt is the one for him and they’ll be fine. They’ll be fine. They’re in love. He wants to get used to this.

*

Manuel is twenty eight and Benedikt is twenty six and things aren’t going so well anymore. They’re at a party when it happens. They are world champions, they are _weltmeister._ Together. Except they’re not. He’s known for a while, but he hasn’t had proof. Benedikt had been meeting up with him less and less and when they’d been together he’d been different, somehow. He’d leave the room to answer phone calls and he’d giggle. Giggle like a small child. The way he used to giggle with Manuel.

They hadn’t slept together as much, they hadn’t touched each other as much, and they hadn’t even kissed each other as much. Every time Manuel tried something, Benedikt would have an excuse to stop. Manuel would leave him alone. Manuel had stopped feeling that ecstatic feeling when he kissed Benedikt some months ago. He’d had that feeling since he was fifteen, and he was fairly sure Benedikt had stopped feeling it too. Benedikt hadn’t told him he loves him for months.

So yeah, he’d known for a while, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when he sees Benedikt pinned against the wall, kissing Mats with a passion they haven’t had in their relationship for months.

He’d been clinging on to the scraps of their relationship for too long. He couldn’t let go. Benedikt had been his life from the day the boy was born; Benedikt had been his partner for as long as he could remember. He’d never been with anyone else. They haven’t broken up or anything, but Manuel isn’t going to make a scene. He’s just going to let Benni, Benedikt, drift away from him slowly until they only speak as friends. This is their night, Germany’s night. No one should be upset.

That’s why, when he’s lying naked in bed with Christoph later that night, he smiles. He refuses to be upset, it’s not like his thirteen year relationship, all he can remember from his life, is gone, not at all. He starts to think about it as the beginning of something new. Christoph’s young and passionate and stunningly attractive with a great music taste and he’s completely besotted with Manuel. Christoph curls into his side and pecks a kiss to his chest and Manuel might just feel the electricity flowing through his body. He’s not Benni, he’s nothing like Benni, but he’s something. It’ll take some time for him to get used to this.

*

Manuel is twenty eight and Benedikt is twenty six when things end but Manuel has stopped using Benedikt’s age to remember things. He doesn’t really ever get used to this.

*

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are much appreciated :)


End file.
